The photo above recently popped up as a ‘memory’. It’s from 4 years ago. If you want to know more about me, you can read my bio, but this photo reminded me of more than just a moment in time. It was taken just before I got on my motorcycle (1970 BMW) for the first time after giving birth. My daughter was about 8 months old and she chose us after four intense years of IVF. When would I ride again? As a mother, life-partner, leader of a large team at Square during the Covid-19 pandemic as well as an executive coach I definitely needed to carve out time and space for myself.
I missed riding so much when I was pregnant. My last ride before giving birth was at 15 weeks pregnant in Mt. Shasta forest during the annual Velocette rally. It was gorgeous AND I had to pull over many times to eat protein and hydrate. Fully present to the importance of safety during this fragile, yet powerful moment in our lives, this moment was both necessary for my sanity and also scary. I often oscillate between polarities. It is necessary for my sense of self, my spirit, my health and my growth. Scary because I had no idea how my new body geometry would feel moving through time and space on two wheels. Additionally, I could hurt myself and seriously impact my family.
I can be risk averse (hello, I’m an Enneagram 1) and yet, I still take regular risks. It's in the forward movement that we make progress. Even if we aren't going in the right direction, it's better to be moving, then redirect, than to stay motionless and stuck. Forward motion has always been my core motivation and yet, it regularly pushes against my risk aversion.
Paying attention to my own polarities is one of the ways I coach myself. And in this particular case, I'm paying attention to the polarity of stability, safety and order versus flexibility, play and freedom. Both have value. Rather than picking sides I can choose to accept both. In a world where we are surrounded by polarizing messages, paying attention to polarities within ourselves is important for personal transformation and our leadership development. Why? Even though it may seem like we sometimes only have and” either/or” way of looking at things, it's never just that. As complex beings we are capable of so much more.
A polarity, or paradox, is a situation in which opposing forces within a system pull at each other to keep things balanced.
We CAN integrate polarities and learn from the multiple perspectives between the two. This helps us lead ourselves and is beneficial when we are leading others.
Take a moment to think about some strong polarities or paradoxes in your life.
The most common scenario that comes up for my clients is when their team is torn between two different perspectives. They are either in “this camp” or in the “other camp”. As soon as you see signs that the team is starting to take sides, address it immediately with conversations that begin from the place that both perspectives have value. If you wait too long, beliefs become entrenched and team dysfunction occurs.
In summary, here’s how a leader could approach using polarities successfully in this situation:
I partner with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
My clients are amazing. I love them for all their unique qualities, quirks, genius and challenges. Every single one of them has come from referrals or connecting in person. Because of this, you won’t see much of me or my business on social media or in the press. My LinkedIn network is full of people I’ve actually met or worked with at some point in my life. This aligns with my personal values and allows me to show up fully for everyone in my life: my family, friends, clients and even people I’m meeting for the first time. That said, I sometimes enjoy writing a blog post which allows me to interact with a broader audience (like this post!).
With over 2000 hours of practice I am certified (PCC) by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), iEQ9 Integrative Enneagram as well as by the globally recognized Co-Active Training Institute (CPCC). I am committed to supporting the ICF's Code of Ethics in my practice and am a firm believer in upholding the coaching community's integrity by supporting both ICF and other governance such as the EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council). As a coach, I continuously work on my own personal development and integration by completing programs such as The Hoffman Process and courses on neuroscience and coaching.
When I coach in a corporate or professional environment, I'm a firm believer in coaching within context. If I coach a client in a vacuum it can be a challenge to deepen the learning and achieve true transformation. I will learn about their environment, oftentimes speaking with their leadership team, including those that support them such as a Chief of Staff or Executive Business Partner. I also use perspective-building tools such as the Enneagram to support the leadership journey.
Learn more about my approach to coaching and read through my FAQ here.
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